What’s Your Priority?
A number
of years ago I had the opportunity to meet a man who had finally gotten
everything he could ever desire in life. From the time he hit 40, he had this goal of
retiring by the age of 55. For approximately
15 years he worked long hours, plus weekends, and piled up as much money as he
could into various accounts and investments.
His work kept him from virtually all family activities, and he was seldom
at home. He missed his children’s many
accomplishments, and almost never had any time for his wife and family.
As the
years went on, his bank account grew larger.
In fact, they even scaled back on their living to be able to even save
even more. Shortly before his 55th
birthday, he announced he would soon be retiring, and it was time to put their current
house up for sale. When the house sold,
they took a trip to Florida, and he quickly located the perfect condo near the
Gulf of Mexico that was close to a Golf Course.
A few months later he retired, and he and his wife made the move.
For all
these years he had worked toward this single minded goal, and though he had
paid a huge price by being distant from his family, and even estranged, he
could always find a way to justify it to himself, that “he” deserved it for all
his hard work.
A few
days after the move, and while still unpacking, the man started developing some
severe abdominal pains. For a couple of
days he dismissed it to having just moved, but finally, when it got too bad, he
went to the Emergency Room. Shortly thereafter
he was given the diagnosis of advanced pancreatic cancer. At the time I was a Hospice Chaplain, and
the wife had requested the services of a Chaplain. I
assumed I was there to provide her, their now adult children and her husband
comfort, but that proved not to be the case. When I arrived, she let me know that this man
had no use for God, and he considered anyone that did “weak.” While she had been a believer before she
married, she had not been active in years, and neither had her children.
The
reason she wanted to see a Chaplain was she was worried that she was not
feeling any remorse or sadness that her husband would soon be gone, in fact,
she was happy, relieved, and content. It
was obvious that her children despised their father, and were only there to
help their mother. I spent time with
them, listening to how hurt and angry they were for all those years, as he
abandoned them to seek his early retirement. I did my best to assure them not to feel
guilt, as they had been the victims of a single minded selfishness, to which
they had no control. Before I left, I
did enter the bedroom to talk to the husband.
His only words to me were “If there is a god, and after all my hard
work, why would he let this happen?” He indicated he did not want an answer.
We live
in a day and age where more times than not, so many families priorities are out
of order. We have a generation that has
forsaken the message of Christ, and acquiring “things,” advancing our careers,
or achieving certain goals becomes dominate. While there is nothing wrong with careers and
goals, and the rewards they offer, we must have solid priorities, and those priorities
need to be grounded on the solid foundation found in our Lord Jesus Christ.
We live
in a connected world of technology, which can be a double edged sword. On one hand it can connect us to those we
love, or become an intrusion into our family life, and even our time with God. It can connect us, or split us apart.
In Luke Chapter 12, beginning at verse 16
we find this parable that Jesus shares with His disciples: “And he spake a parable unto them, saying, ‘The ground of a certain rich man brought
forth plentifully: and he reasoned within himself, saying,
What shall I do, because I have not where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This
will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I
bestow all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much
goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, be merry. But God said unto him, Thou foolish one, this
night is thy soul required of thee; and the things which thou hast prepared,
whose shall they be? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and
is not rich toward God’.” (Luke 12: 16-21, New American Version)
It was so sad that this man had only laid
up his treasures on earth, without fully counting the real cost, not just to
his family, but even himself. In all my years in ministry, I never saw a hearse
pulling a U-Haul.
About a month later I had a phone call
from the wife, indicating her husband had passed away a few days before. I offered to do the service, but she said (that in keeping with her husband’s wishes)
there would be no service of any kind. In fact, that was fine by her. I asked how she was doing, and she said she was
doing very well. She was planning to
sell the new condo, move back home, and be closely connected to her family,
though she did say she would return to Florida in a few years. She was determined to get her priorities
right, and make the best of the time she would have in this life. I wished her God’s blessings and best, and
took some time to share a prayer.
I never heard from that woman again, but
something deep inside says that God made a major change in her life. She was determined to make up for all her
family lost, and I’m sure, in doing so, she found genuine peace and happiness.
Heavenly Father, help us to get our
priorities right - Your priorities. May our lives be more centered on You
and less centered on ourselves. Amen.
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